Impressions

Impressions. There are lots of variables to them. There are 'first impressions', 'lasting impressions', 'bad impressions' and more. And lately I find myself thinking and wondering about peoples impressions of me. Are they good? Are they bad? Have people I once knew forgotten about me?
I am pretty certain of some of the impressions some people out there have of me- my dad thinks I eat mounds of chocolate everyday and that I sleep till noon (I dont), my sisters think I never cook or dont care to cook (I do), pretty sure my mom thinks I never clean my house lol (just about everyday). Then there are those who I wonder- people I see in passing while out with my kids- do they see my kids being polite and loving to eachother and people around them- or have they caught us on a bad day and therefore think my kids are rotten and I am a bad mother? Better yet- does that old man I encountered in the Trader Joes parking lot who thinks I purposely allowed my car door to bump into his truck and went all out yelling at me- really think that I am a rude inconciderate person like he said?

I know that in the end- none of these impressions really matter (sorry mom) because my future isnt up to them- thankfully none of these people choose whether I live or I die in the end. I have to trust that I am a good person. I have to trust that Jehovah sees me trying and is able to read all my thoughts of what I want to be doing and that I want to do better - for me and for my kids. My life is an organized chaos at best- sometimes it is just utter chaos and I find that I am dropping the ball and possibly disappointing people- I hope that they see it as temporary and that I am always trying- trying to be and to do better.